My friend Lita randomly sends me bizare emails filled with fun things like "weird holidays in Febuaray" and off-beat jokes. This week she sent me the following "romantic" poems.

A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a poem with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received:

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way.

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell."

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.



Heh heh, I like the last few especially. It's nifty how they save the best for last. Anyway, I know it's weird, and by no means considered good literature, but if it provided you with a laugh or just a good chuckle then horrah! That's happy.